I've taken to dressing like a bag lady

It seems that now that I've out grown my clothes and every day my belly button looks less and less like a belly button should, I can only wear my office clothes for the time I am in the office. The moment I get home I strip off the business wear and done my "bag lady" clothes.
Today's ensemble features a cut off pair of pajama pants that I'm pretty sure I bought in jr. high. They become "cut offs" about 8 years ago when I tore the cuff off one leg then decided to lop off about 6 inches. So now they hit me mid calf - which looks great when paired with my fuzzy, red knee socks. Top this looks off with a ratty t-shirt and cardigan sweater with a hole in the neck and you've got yourself my after work look. Classy!
Oh, and if I have to go outside I toss on my paint stained crocks.
Yep, I'm looking good these days.
Michael has taken to shaking his head and laughing when he comes home.

What did I just step on?

Holy #&!%, it's a mouse!

I stepped on a dead mouse this morning.
In the middle of my bedroom floor.
My recently vacuumed bedroom floor.

What on earth was it doing there?

I think Tallulah found it somewhere else and brought it into the room. Much like when Delilah brought me a dead baby squirrel when I was sick. (gross)

Michael has now disposed of the mouse and I'm hoping that is the last we see of the little buggers.
Needless to say, that is not the way I like to start my mornings.

4+ my rear!

My boss and I spent 20 min trying to transform an transformer today.
It said it was easy and the box was labeled for kids 4+. Which would lead one to believe that a 4 year old could transform this transformer!

Eventually with the help of yet another person and about 10 more min we figured it out.

It was not worth that kind of build up.

The Remote Revolt

The remotes at my house are revolting against us and it's getting old. Here is the run-down so far:

• The garage door opener works once every 20 to 50 times, so I sit there for minuets at a time trying to get the darn things to open or close.
  
• The TV remote for the less than 2 year old TV has stopped letting us surf up. We can easily scroll down, but up is no longer an option.
• Most infuriatingly the remote that works the bedroom ceiling fan and light has stopped working - leaving us hot and in the dark. There is no way to operate the light or the fan without the remote.

Yes, we have changed all of the batteries - sometimes several times. I do not know what is wrong, but it is a little bothersome that it's all happening at once.

This revolt must be quelled.

Cajun Food is still my friend

I've been bit worried that finding myself in the baby-way would put an end to my eating spicy food. I don't love super hot, but I do love Cajun and Indian spices and they can both be on the hot side.

Last night my parents took us out to The Jazz, where I always get Shrimp Etufee. I love it, it is spicy and almost burns my tongue on the first bite - but then my mouth is nicely seared and I can enjoy the rest of it. I debated getting it last night, fearing I would regret it later. But in a WTH moment I ordered it anyway. It was as good and as hot as ever.
Admittedly I did eat 6 Hush Puppies while eating it (dipped in cocktail sauce - yum!) to cut the spice, but over all it was very satisfying.

And much to my surprise - I'm not really regretting it at all. My acid reflux was a tiny bit stronger last night than normal, but an extra Tums took care of things. So I call that a success!

Of course I only eat at the Jazz about every 6 months to a year these days, so I think I've gotten my fill for a while.

(Oh and thanks Mom and Dad, it was great to see you and eat some spicy food!)

Irrational fears.

I have several completely irrational fears. These include:

• Going into the basement. (It is dark, damp and scary down there. Plus I'm always a little concerned that I'll find a homeless man sleeping down there. I don't know why.)
• Being Carried. (I hate it. Just let me walk.)
• Mariachi Bands. (Only once has a Mariachi band not been traumatic and that was because I was tipsy in NYC with my friends. And one of those friends was holding a large purple dildo and we were singing into it. Other than that I cringe in horror at a Mariachi band.)
• Similarly to the Mariachi Band is anyone singing to me...with an acoustic guitar. Anything by Dave Matthews or the Birthday Song is especially horrid.
• Butterflies Landing on me (I know, they don't even have mouths or teeth and yet it freaks me out. This is probably the most irrational of the fears. Its a butterfly!)
• Grasshoppers. (They jump and I never know where they are going. They just freak me out!)

Today I discovered that my beautiful Zinnias are covered in grasshoppers. Some of them are little and others are behemoths of horror. I had to have Michael go out and take this photo because I didn't want to get that close. Bleck. Give me a spider any day. At least I have a general idea of where they are going. With a grasshopper you just never know.

Aren't they pretty. I love these beautiful flowers that began as a $1.25 pack of seeds.

The nasty, scary, evil grasshopper.

Late Night Thunderstorms Are Not Okay

At 1:45am the wind really started to pick up and it started to hail a little bit. Which freaked Michael out - waking me up while he tried to find a weather update on the radio. I suggested turning on the TV because TV newscasters get all excited about the weather.
Guess what? we were having a thunderstorm! Really?
Now I'm just tired and grumpy.
Oh, and all the knitting I did while waiting for the Honda? ALL WRONG. I had to tear out and start back about 60 rows. SIXTY.
I think I need to go back to bed.

Newscasters - Freaking Out For No Reason

Seriously, is it necessary to break in to Grey's Anatomy every minute and a half to tell me that it is raining?
Calm down people.

Another weekend over

And I managed to procrastinate my way out cleaning the guest room. It is the one room in the house which I hate to clean - and the room that looks the best once I break down and do it. The problem with the quest room is it has become the room where I dump everything that I don't want in the rest of the house. Don't know what to do with the electric blanket that we don't need since we added the electric mattress pad? Toss it in the guest room. What about the teapot that we don't use? Guest room. All of our clothes before they are iorned and hung up? That's what the guest room bed is for of course!
Sigh.
I will have to clean it up soon - with the holidays coming we may actually have a guest and they will need to be able to find the bed.

The rest of the house looks great though. I borrowed my parent's Dyson and let me tell you that thing works. I am disgusted by how well it works. Tallulah, I love you but we were sold a false bill of goods. "Non-shedding" dog my Aunt Fanny. It's a good thing she is so cute.

Taking a stand for chest hair

Yesterday was the last straw for Daily Candy emails.
a) everything is a little too chi chi and expensive for my tastes
b) yesterday's product just offended me. More so then all the trite and ridiculously priced under garments or vacations to private islands that cost more then my house. It was a body hair remover. That on it's own wouldn't be a problem, but the story that went with it just made me mad.

Just Say NoNo

Barry White’s cranking. Yes! Yes!
Asti spumante’s flowing.
Yes! Yes!
Ricky’s seductively unbuttoning his shirt.
Yes! Yes!
To reveal a dense, coarse, jet-black man pelt. No! No!

We like to think that such a scenario may have inspired the invention of the NoNo, a new, in-home hair removal gadget that painlessly defuzzes while slowing regrowth.

Am I the only person in there mid-20's who thinks chest hair is manly? Is it so beyond belief that some people think men with hairless chests look - well naked? I get that not every guy and grow a man pelt, but those that can - you shouldn't be ashamed of it. It's manly and I for one like it!

So daily candy, you can keep your crazy trips and designer cats, I'll keep my man and his chest hair.

Letter to the Mayor

Dear Mayor Funkhouser;
Today was my first experience with active participation in local government - aside from years of diligent and researched voting. After today I am heartsick and deeply disappointed with the way things work - or don't work. At 11:00am today I received notification that today's 2:00pm public meeting of the Parks and Recreation Commission would include an item to rescind resolution 28019, replacing it with resolution 28125, a resoltion that very nearly prohibits dog parks from being built in Kansas City, namely in neighborhoods. I took the rest of the day off of work to attend this meeting. I arrived early and signed up to speak on the form they had posted. When the meeting began Commissioner Fierro stated that no one here to represent the dog parks would be allowed to speak. Several people attempted to discuss the dog park issue and were shut down. Without any public comment and without allowing anyone who had officially signed up to speak, speak the Kansas City Parks and Recreations Commissioners unanimously passed Resolution 28125. In fact a press release announcing the passing of the bill was out before the meeting was even adjourned.

This resolution sates the following site selection factors:

• Locate off leash areas in large community and regional parks where appropriate space is available.
• Avoid area that abut or are in close proximity to neighborhood and residences.
• Locate where there will be minimal impact upon the total visual character of a park.
• Locate where adequate parking will be available nearby

Where would one even find a park that isn't in close proximity to residences? Downtown is even becoming a residential area. It seems that this resolution was passed specifically to shut down a single proposed neighborhood dog park. But more than the disbelief that the Parks and Recreation Commissioners would essentially draft a resolution in order to kill a plan proposed by its citizenry, it is the disbelief that they would do so in such a flagrantly disrespectful way - completely removing the "public" from public meeting.

Mayor Funkhouser, I have seen you at meetings supporting this proposed dog park, I've even seen Maria there. Your seeming passion for improving the use of our local parks and making them a place for all - people with pets included - was one of the reasons why you received my vote. But I am sorely sadden by the way your Parks and Recreations Commissioners conduct business. Namely Commissioner Stackhaus who seemed gleeful to see us shut down without being able to voice our concerns. Are these the kind of people you have selected to be on your commissions and boards? I am outraged and disappointed.

I will admit that certain members of our group became loud and assertive, a tack that I do not find helpful - it is in my nature to be passive. But after today I see that it might be the only way. I hope that you can show me that my first look into local government was not the way things are really handled - that public meetings really do involve the public, that resolutions are not just passed without the input of the people it affects. If you would like to discuss this issue further I am available at XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Best Regards,

Morgan A. Perry

Just a Wednesday

Eating: Chicken Tacos with Avocado
Listening: Radio Lab "Beyond Time"
Talking: To my brother (come hang out some time)
Wishing: For the drive to finish my many projects













Note the many things on my desk. The quilt, the pieces for the Bitty Booties, the beginnings of a collar for Tallulah from the new book Bend the Rules Sewing.

Reading: The Subtle Knife
Enjoying: The Air Conditioning
Feeling: Frustrated the Apple Mighty Mouse doesn't work well when your index finger is in a band-aid.
Realizing: That Michael taking up model making has tipped the scales. So between my knitting and his modeling we are officially an 80 year old couple in the bodies of 20 somethings.
Questioning: Male Camel Toe - Seriously, its not a good look on women - its worse on a man. Now I hate the baggy pant look. You know the one - when the guy can only use one hand for any task because the other is being used to hold up his drawers and we are all being flashed his boxers anyway. It's not a good look people! But possibly worse than that are pants that are too tight. I shouldn't be able to see which side you "dress".
Men of the world, I beg you, for all of our sakes - wear appropriately sized pants!

Clearly not holy

So I almost passed out and threw up in church today. That doesn't seem like a good sign to me.
Really it was a combination of hot day, kneeling and lucky charms for breakfast. All sugar, no nutrients. So we left mass just before the Our Fathers and we'll just have to go with the host this week.
Now that I'm home with a glass of Gatorade and some crackers I'm feeling much better..though worried about what getting all woozy at church says about me....

I've been warned

I was taking Tallulah for a short walk this morning to celebrate her trip the groomers (I would never pay that much for my own hair cut!) when all at once the noise lever shot through the roof.
We were walking down a street we don't usually take when a tiny black poodle on a cord starting going nuts. Yapping and jumping up and down and generally freaking out. Which starting off the rottweiler next to her. So he starts barking in these low, scary barks and then across the street another dog starts barking and jumping at the front door. I saw all four paws hit the glass door. Tallulah and I were picking up our speed just a bit when then tornado siren starts to go off.
At first I didn't know what it was. Were we being attacked on this 4th of July?
Nope just the monthly testing of the tornado siren. Guess what? It works!
It works so well that I thought my ears would bleed.
Tallulah and I sprinted back to the house just so we could put a wall between us and the piercing siren. Seriously if there is ever a tornado we will definitely hear the warning.

Walking

I just walked 3.87 miles home from the car dealership. The Honda is getting its 40,000 mile scheduled maintenance. I didn't want to wait the 4 hours and no one was really available to drive me home. So I walked. It was less than 4 miles, people all over the world walk further than that, but to me it seems like a very big deal.

Yeah for walking!!!

I have taken a cold shower, sipped a Gatorade and applied BenGay to my legs and back. Now I'm going to take a bit of rest.

Tallulah is so not getting walked tonight.

Who Killed the Electric Car?

Go out and rent this documentary, move it to #1 on your netflix list.
Do it. Now.

Then bemoan the loss of the electric car. Especially as we pay $3.39 a gallon.

It make me want to throw-up...and NEVER buy an American car again.
Thank goodness I drive a Honda. Next time I'm buying a Honda Hybrid.

Some days (make that weekends) I should just stay in bed.

So Saturday I hit Michael in the head with a tennis ball.
Sunday I blew a fuse burned him in the arm with an iron.

No, no - not like that.

Sunday night I decided to iron my shirt for Monday morning, instead of doing a rush job in the morning - which is my usual routine. Every morning I iron, the ironing board is on my dresser for easy use. Well in the morning the only thing running is the iron - not so at night. The computer was running and three lights were on. So we blew the fuse. Clearly we can have lights or ironed clothes - not both.

Michael was running around trying to unplug everything before heading to the circuit breaker when he moved the dresser and the iron (which apparently had time to heat up before blowing the fuse) fell on his arm. It wasn't that hot, but still it's not a good thing and added to the general grumpy attitude that comes when the lights go out.

Everything is now back up and running, although I have been asked to move the iron to a different room.

It was a very dangerous weekend for Michael - let's hope he fares better this week.

Also at the park

So yesterday while at the park the inevitable happened.
I hit Michael in the head with a tennis ball.
A tennis ball flung from the "Flinger".
From about 2 feet away.
He was standing to my side....I was aiming forward.

I have horrible aim.

This is the first time I have ever actually hit him, but I have come very close many, many, many times. So we all knew this would happen.

I'm not allowed to use the flinger anymore.

Did you know?

That I love an enchilada
And I eat one every time I go to Mexican Restaurant
Which is startlingly often.
And that they are usually covered in a yummy red sauce with lots of cheese
A Sauce I believed was Mole.

Did you know that traditional Mole sauce is made with Peanuts?
I didn't.

Guess whose enchilada was covered in this deadliest of sauces?

That right,
MINE!

One bite into it and I knew something was wrong.
I thought it was beans, even though I had told the waitress No Beans and given her my BRIGHT PINK HEALTH ALERT CARD that says I AM HIGHLY ALLERGIC TO:

• PEANUTS
• BEANS
• PEAS
• SOY

A card she didn't really look at. Whoo Hoo!

So after popping some Benadryl, and flagging the waitress down again and asking if there could possibly be beans in the sauce she said "No, No beans, just cocoa and peanut butter"
Great that's so much worse than beans.
So I took another dose of Benadryl to be safe and started chugging back about a pitcher of water. Eventually we left the restaurant, Katie drove me home where my mom was waiting for me. (she must have gone 90miles an hour all the way from Liberty) We sat around for a while and then I tossed up the peanut buttery mole sauce and started to feel better.
I still feel kind of strange, but better.

Lessons learned:

1. Real Mole contains peanuts so always eat at cheap places who only serve the red stuff and cheese.
2. Make sure that the wait person READS the entire allergy card and takes it back to chef.
3. Never think that anything is safe. Even if you have eaten 124,708 enchiladas at roughly 104 different Mexican restaurants with no trouble at all, you never know what the next one holds...it probably holds Peanut Butter.
4. Also, it's okay to say f*ck when you find out about said peanut butter, even in front of your boss. But that is about the only time.

Trying to Hop Back On That Work Out Bandwagon

Blah, blah, we joined a gym.
Three months later we quit said gym.
I really just hate the gym, I don't like working out with other people around. Especially the very gym-y gym we signed up with. I just makes me feel awkward. So we quit.

So last night out of a bit of boredom and a bit of feeling like a slug I dusted off the Denise Austin DVD that came free with some vitamins I purchased years ago and got to work. The video has 3, 10 min workouts. Once upon a time I was doing the first workout every morning. Clearly it has been awhile. So I decided to do both the Beginners and the Maintenance workouts, 20 min. later I was SOOO tired. And this morning I am SOOOO sore!

Here's to trying to get back into the workout groove. I doubt it will be any better than my previous attempts, but at least I'm trying.